The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

At lunch, one day, a friend of mine shared that she had just finished reading a thought-provoking book.

My ears perked up at the thought of a new book.

She leaned in and whispered, “It’s called, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”

I pulled on my ear to make sure I had heard her correctly. Her eyes sparkled like a little imp assuring me that I had. She continued with excitement as she said, “And you have GOT to read it – you will totally get what the author is talking about.”

Her glee of the title intrigued me all the more – plus she looked like she carried the answers to the universal questions of life. I was fascinated with the mysteries of which she held close to herself, within this book.

So, on the drive back home – I wasn’t driving, I ordered it immediately as the opening hooked me straight away. It arrived, and I devoured it from cover to cover.

In a nutshell…

Mark Manson, the author, shares that people are so busy trying every trick in the book to remain happy, that they miss the boat on the fact that to experience true happiness one must experience and accept all emotions as part of the human condition. For example, got a horrible in-law who puts you in a foul mood at the very thought of their visiting? Well, bingo, that’s your subconscious acting as a beacon to remind you of the type of person best not to invite into your life – and to recognize the light that it shines on those that treat you well.

He also talks about lost dreams – and their reality.

If a person hasn’t achieved their lifelong dream of becoming a famous musician; his example, not mine – as you wouldn’t want to hear me sing, then the person simply wasn’t invested in the process of attaining that goal.

I crunched on this wildly.

Manson had a point. In everything that I had done in life, I either took it to the limit or let it go – because I wasn’t fully invested in the process for the end result.


At our dream’s most fundamental level, we either stick our toes in their waters for a dangle, or we dive right in after them.

But it’s got to reach deep into our minds and hearts before we take that jump. Otherwise, as Manson says so nicely, “We want the reward, not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was not in love with the fight, but only the victory.

And life doesn’t work that way.”

We do in life what rewards our personal validation system. The problem is we are brainwashed to think that all of our ideas are supposed to result in something wonderful – which is inane.

And that’s why people continue to pursue only the positives in life and avoid the negatives. It makes them feel like a failure when in reality, those no-follow-throughs are what take you to where you soar in life; at whatever height that may be.

And THAT’S what you’re aiming for.

A whole life experience – the good, bad, boring, joyful, and even the ugly. Funnel these experience through a screen and keep what works for you.

Accept when something just didn’t light your fire and take from it whatever you can and move on.

There is much more to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck than I can put in this article. It was enjoyable, funny, and more importantly, real.

And real is what I think has been lost in society, and what people are unconsciously trying to take back; which Manson talks in depth about in his book.

Check it out for yourself, and let me know what you thought.



Water-colour origins?


After reading the book The Apiary, by Alfred Neighbour, I am now intrigued with this painting from the 1870s. I’m afraid my search through Google has only linked me back to the book, so now, I’m left even more curious.

If you happen to know something about this piece, I would be thrilled to hear from you.


Melania Trump Wrongly Accused

Open any web page or article on Melania Trump, and you’ll be pelted with a barrage of insulting comments ranging from how she’s a miserable person, to being an unhappy wife, to hiding away with her autistic son.

Let’s put on the brakes, shall we.

First of all, Melania is Slovenian. Having Slavic origins in my own ancestry, I can relate to the resting bitch face look – or so it’s called these days. We’re not unfriendly, we’re not unhappy, in fact, we’re content.

In some of these countries, Slovenia included, walking around with a plastic smile on your face is a sign of not being right in the head. Now, if they’re interacting with someone whom they like, they’ll smile with engaged and sparkling eyes. For example, during the inauguration, when Melania’s husband turns around to look at her, she lit up when they made contact. Yes, when he turns back around, she returns to her natural facial position; neutral.  A natural response; especially for someone of Slavic origins.

It’s simply a case of enculturation. Period. It’s not right, nor wrong, just different.  Just open any self-help article or daily quotes and the message is clear to embrace our diversities. I would say that Melania got that memo; I’m not certain that others have.

The next accusation that she gets is that she’s an unhappy wife. How in the love of God could anyone ever know that? She did agree to support her husband in the running, and winning, of one of the most challenging positions in the world. That’s a big responsibility to go through if you are terribly unhappy. Then considering that your life would be thrown under a magnifying lens. I somehow doubt it.  And even if she were, would she be any different from the countless couples who stay together through thick and thin?

Maybe she has more backbone than she’s being credited for.

Melania’s last assault is one on their son, and I find it disheartening. When did society become so horrible that they would attack a young boy to garner attention? Whether their son has or doesn’t have autism, how can she be criticized for protecting their child? It doesn’t matter why she protects him; the key point is that she does.

And that’s a good mother.

I say, let her live, do her job, and leave her to find her way. She just may surprise all the naysayers.

Personally, I would love the opportunity to meet such an interesting woman. I would imagine it would be a fascinating and inspiring conversation.

And as they say, “Behind every man, is an amazing woman.”

Could she have been wrongly accused?

Two Xmas Favorites

Was your holiday an enjoyable one? I hope so. Our Christmas morning was filled with surprises and good cheer- and I felt like a spoiled kid. 🙂

Here are two gifts that I adore; a Scentsy Burner that is absolutely gorgeous- from my son and daughter-in-law, and a novel- from my sister, by author Nadia Hashimi called, The House Without Windows.

This photo doesn’t do this burner justice. It is so lovely.
We enjoyed “Tea & Comfy” at 8 am on Christmas morning; I highly recommend it. That’s the book mentioned above. It hooked my attention straight away. 🙂