At lunch, one day, a friend of mine shared that she had just finished reading a thought-provoking book.
My ears perked up at the thought of a new book.
She leaned in and whispered, “It’s called, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”
I pulled on my ear to make sure I had heard her correctly. Her eyes sparkled like a little imp assuring me that I had. She continued with excitement as she said, “And you have GOT to read it – you will totally get what the author is talking about.”
Her glee of the title intrigued me all the more – plus she looked like she carried the answers to the universal questions of life. I was fascinated with the mysteries of which she held close to herself, within this book.
So, on the drive back home – I wasn’t driving, I ordered it immediately as the opening hooked me straight away. It arrived, and I devoured it from cover to cover.
In a nutshell…
Mark Manson, the author, shares that people are so busy trying every trick in the book to remain happy, that they miss the boat on the fact that to experience true happiness one must experience and accept all emotions as part of the human condition. For example, got a horrible in-law who puts you in a foul mood at the very thought of their visiting? Well, bingo, that’s your subconscious acting as a beacon to remind you of the type of person best not to invite into your life – and to recognize the light that it shines on those that treat you well.
He also talks about lost dreams – and their reality.
If a person hasn’t achieved their lifelong dream of becoming a famous musician; his example, not mine – as you wouldn’t want to hear me sing, then the person simply wasn’t invested in the process of attaining that goal.
I crunched on this wildly.
Manson had a point. In everything that I had done in life, I either took it to the limit or let it go – because I wasn’t fully invested in the process for the end result.
At our dream’s most fundamental level, we either stick our toes in their waters for a dangle, or we dive right in after them.
But it’s got to reach deep into our minds and hearts before we take that jump. Otherwise, as Manson says so nicely, “We want the reward, not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was not in love with the fight, but only the victory.
And life doesn’t work that way.”
We do in life what rewards our personal validation system. The problem is we are brainwashed to think that all of our ideas are supposed to result in something wonderful – which is inane.
And that’s why people continue to pursue only the positives in life and avoid the negatives. It makes them feel like a failure when in reality, those no-follow-throughs are what take you to where you soar in life; at whatever height that may be.
And THAT’S what you’re aiming for.
A whole life experience – the good, bad, boring, joyful, and even the ugly. Funnel these experience through a screen and keep what works for you.
Accept when something just didn’t light your fire and take from it whatever you can and move on.
There is much more to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck than I can put in this article. It was enjoyable, funny, and more importantly, real.
And real is what I think has been lost in society, and what people are unconsciously trying to take back; which Manson talks in depth about in his book.
Check it out for yourself, and let me know what you thought.